How do we know what God wants for us?
How often do we let our own appetites drive our understanding of our vocation?
Charles struggled with his vocation. He kept wanting it to go a certain direction but he seemed to be thwarted at every turn.
He eventually turned from searching for Jerusalem into creating it where he was. His vision of leading others into that place never came to fruition, except for himself. In the end, before his murder, I think he came to understand that.
We live for Christ, not for ourselves. Charles embodies that.
Father, I abandon myself into Your hands; do with me what You will. Whatever You do I thank You. I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only Your will be done in me, as in all Your creatures, I ask no more than this, my Lord. Into Your hands I commend my soul; I offer it to You, O Lord, with all the love of my heart, for I love You, my God, and so need to give myself - to surrender myself into Your hands, without reserve and with total confidence, for You are my Father.
-- Charles's Prayer of Abandonment